I worked in the garden today with the front door open. The absence of Chester running through out into the yard, rolling around on the warm concrete with his blue eyes tightly shut, along with the lack of worry about him straying too far hit a note deep in me which caused an explosion of painful emotion.
I am generally much more content to have Chester next to me, even though he is lethargic, unengaged, non-vocal, with his third eyelid half shut, and smells horrible. As long as I don't look at the cat food still in his bowl from when he could eat vittles, I can be grateful that he is not yet a box of ash.
I took him out and laid him in the sun next to me while I returned my calls for the day. It was nice to slow down and just be with him, even for a few minutes. I need to do more of that.

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